Embedded Files
“[Attending] the Women’s March is the definitive proud moment in my life so far. I was just reading 'Al Franken, Giant of the Senate' and he mentions how incredible that morning was. They were all in D.C. knowing this was going to happen, not sure how big it was going to be, and then just being baffled by these millions of women that came from all over the country just to finally be heard in this campaign. [During the campaign] I feel like women’s voices were pushed aside, because it was like the media was trying to have Hillary speak for all of us. Just because she’s a female, but that doesn’t mane she speaks for all of us. So, I feel like a big part of [the march] was that we weren’t being represented as a full group of women. The fact that Trump was elected was really an insult, I think, to our sex and we wanted to speak out. On a whim, I got a bus ticket. I felt like it was important. I created posters for myself and my friends and getting on the bus that morning at 4 a.m. there were older women there in their 50s and 60s who had knitted pussy hats and they put them on, they had their homemade signs, and they brought champagne and made mimosas on the bus. So, not having just this younger generation of women represented, but our matriarchs on the bus feeding us champagne and cheering on what we were about to do was so incredible. I just felt this surge of energy that I think no one can feel unless they’re a part of something huge... We finally got into the city and I remember being in this huge crowd of people, just crushed and chanting anti-Trump messages, and solidarity messages trying to finally march forward when [the march] was supposed to happen and we couldn’t go anywhere we were stuck…Because [cell phone] service was spotty, it was passed by word of mouth that they had to cancel the actual march because there were too many people… Just to have that happen the day after the inauguration spoke volumes. For the most part that city belonged to women, and those who identify as women, and their supports. It was amazing. I’m proud to have been there in that moment.”
“Be yourself. That’s a major thing for me. And however, you end up finding yourself, be that. One of my favorite phrases is, ‘give less fucks.’ And I say that all the time. I think there’s always and emphasis for women to act a certain way, be a certain way and I feel like you can be out of that box and still be who you are and liked for that. And that’s super important for me. That’s what I try to instill in my life because I feel like everyone is always chasing happiness, somehow, and whether they find it through work, success, money, whatever, I feel like you can be happy, but to love yourself is a whole other level of happiness. In battling all the things I did, feeling like I had a mom who didn’t love me who didn’t want to be in my life made it extremely difficult to love the person that I was and then having to deal with what I dealt with the sexual assault, it’s difficulty, there’s a lot of self-loathing that comes with that, insecurity, And I struggled with that for years and then finally it’s kind of like a twig snapping and there’s this break and it’s like you’re working towards it but you don’t even know you are, and when you get there you’re like ‘holy shit, I’m here,’ and you wake up and you look in the mirror and you’re like, ‘I love exactly who I am. I love what I do, I love who I’m becoming and that it’s a never-ending process that even for happiness and whatever we want to achieve. Growing in life you never get there, you’re wonderful just the way you are, but keep on growing and keep on doing whatever you need to do to chase your dreams, be happy, find your passion in this life and do good. Try to do good in this world and spread the love and kindness because we sure as hell need that.”
“I feel like people think that because I like makeup and clothes and jewelry and hair extensions that I am not smart or serious… I think it’s another art form. It’s like being an artist. So, I don’t think that that and being smart are mutually exclusive. I’m allowed to care about our relations with North Korea and what’s going on in the world and I’m also allowed to like the Kardashians and follow Cosmopolitan on Twitter and read about your best eyebrow beauty hacks… People like to compartmentalize who you are as a person by what you’re interested in and I don’t think that makes up who we actually are.”
“I feel lucky in that any time I did face an adversity I had strong women around me to help me out. When I look back at my path, there’s always been a woman there. All of my mentors have been women… I think women helping women is super empowering. So, any adversity I’ve faced I feel like I’ve always had a strong woman to talk with me, give me confidence, and just encourage me... That’s what propelled me forward. Strong women.”
“Do what you want for yourself. Most women from the era I came from didn’t worry about themselves, they worried about everyone else. But, I’ve learned that you can’t help other people if you can’t help yourself first.”
“(To my younger self) I would tell her relax. And it’s okay to wear dresses and makeup, you’ll still be respected. And it’s okay to like Beyoncé… And pop music.”
“We are each other’s keepers. It’s important to support other women and listen to other women and not cut other women down even when you don’t agree with them or don’t like them. I think women need to stick together and that’s why I look to support women in business whenever I can… I think just being each other’s keepers is the biggest responsibility, but also the biggest gift that we have just by nature of being women together.”
“I’m the first one in my family to go to college. So, I was also the first one to get my master’s degree… But, I’m (most proud) of getting my thesis published and graduating with my master’s… I’m the youngest of seven children by my dad and my mother’s only child. So, I wanted to set an example for my nieces and nephews, showing them that this is something you can do, it’s not out of reach…I didn’t think it was something I couldn’t do. I just went and did it.”
"A piece of advice I'd give to my younger self would be to learn as much as you can, travel more, worry less, and be kind to everyone you meet. Especially don’t be afraid of moving forward and keep moving forward. Overall, live life to its fullest because is too short. Be more of a free spirit and take time to stop, look around, and pay attention. Don’t be so quick to judge. And live life with no regrets. That’s what I’d say to her."
“I feel like it’s very difficult to be a woman… I’d like to say [to women] just be strong in the face of adversity. People are going to try to tear you down, belittle you for what you wear, how you speak, what you think, but you don’t have to give in to any of that. You’re already great how you are.”
“I feel like I grew up in an all-white town. I went to college and I think that was the first time there was a lot of diversity. So, I’ve always kind of felt different and being adopted, typically you do feel different from everyone else. My brothers are Korean. They came from South Korea when they were little. So, we’re all adopted, and we’re all a family. It’s just a different kind of family than I think most people have. I think that some of my experiences a lot of people haven’t had yet. The lack of diversity (has made me) try a little harder to fit in than people who are not a person of color or diversity.”
“Don’t be afraid. I wasted so many years of my life that I could have been truly happy because I was afraid. Afraid to move forward things. Afraid to be who I really was. That’s why I got this (as she shows me her tattoo). It’s part of a quote, it’s ‘the real violence, the violence I realized was unforgivable, is the violence we do to ourselves when we're too afraid to be who we really are.’ I got this as a reminder to not let fear hold me back anymore.”
“Don’t give up. We know that we can do anything that we put our minds. Don’t let anyone take that sense of worth away from you. You are smart, you are capable of doing whatever you put your mind to. I think throughout the last few decades (women) have proved that and we continue to prove that. So, just keep going.”
“I think that so many women face so many adversities because of their sex, because of their race, because of any number of things, because of their place in society, because they have money, because they don’t have money. And I think that it’s harder when you’re a woman. I guess my message is to tell people to fuck off. If I had the courage to tell people to fuck off earlier I think I would have felt a lot more secure. And knowing how to do that in such a way that you can do what gives you joy.”
They’re threefold. One is being a woman, the second is being a woman of color, and the third is being a woman of color in Northeastern Pennsylvania. And that’s a hard thing to say… It’s not the same now in 2017, but growing up there was no diversity. I had nobody that looked like me until I think the end of elementary school. I had nobody that was a different skin color. I had nobody that had my experiences, and sometimes that’s really hard because it’s often said that if you’re a woman you have to twice the work to get as much recognition as a man, so when you’re a woman of color you have to do twice as much as a white woman would do… In my field, I work in home improvement. I’m a kitchen and bath designer, so all three of those things work against me as far as I have to constantly jump all of those hurtles to get what I need and get what I want to do with customers and contractors.”
“Some adversities I’ve faced, from the time I was little, feeling like I didn’t belong because I think I always felt different. Just because of my race, first of all. I grew up in an area where there weren’t a lot of Hispanic or other minorities, so I felt different in that way. And then also, I grew up in a low-income household raised by a single mother. In my school and in my town, everybody was more middle-class and upper-class and came from two parent homes. Or their parents were divorced but they saw both parents. So, I always felt like there were things about me that I couldn’t change. So, in other areas I tries to conform by the clothes that I wore or the food that I ate or the types of entertainment choices that I made. And then in my later teen years, I always felt behind socially because of my race and my background. I was raised very sheltered and strict. So, I wasn’t allowed to go to sleep overs or wear the trendy clothes that other people wore or to date. So, during my teen years, whenever I would look at other people my age I would see them as more advanced and so much more mature in terms of wearing makeup or already being in a long-term relationship and doing all these things I wasn’t able to do. And then in my twenties I started college later than most people. So, I felt behind in that when I was just beginning my collegiate career other people were finishing up. When I was in my college years people were getting married and buying houses. And even now that I’ve graduated people that are younger than me are getting married, getting engaged, having kids, buying houses. So, in some ways I still feel behind and left back in that way. But, I think within the last few years I’ve learned to accept those things about myself. I can’t change my race and how I grew up but I think those things have made me the person I am today and I’m proud of them. And even though I’m not where most thirty-one-year-old women are I’m okay with some things and willing to take steps to improve my life and not care what other people think or say about me.”
“I think about this a lot… Part of what’s going on with our experience moving to Europe, we’re re-evaluating every material thing in our lives. What defines us, what we want, what has meaning for us. My husband and I keep coming back to the fact that success to us is this contentment with your life. It’s raising good kids, good human beings, good people. It’s being good people, and it’s sharing experiences with others to make memories that are treasured. We feel successful in that we can create the life we want… We worked really hard to get to where we are now. It’s not about stuff, it’s not about who you know, it’s about the experiences and the connections we have with each other and what we do for each other. Just feeling a part of the community, giving back to the community. Being happy when you wake up.” (She was awarded a Fulbright Schuman Student Research Grant to the European Union. Her family moved to Dublin, Ireland for 11 months while she did research in Ireland and Romania.)
“Get up and do it. I just always let fear run me. It was so much more comfortable to be afraid of things and not do it than be afraid of something and potentially fail. I think there’s also the concern of success. There’s a fear of success in a lot of ways as far as gaining popularity or something along those lines. Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone. I think if I can talk to my younger self I would tell her, ‘not to be afraid of everything and take huge risks. You’re young, you’re not held back by kids or mortgages. Take risks. Be a little extra wild. Believe in what you’re capable of. You’re super confident, you’re smarter than you think you are. Go do great things. Stop holding yourself back by whatever society says.’ I think that’s what I’d say. And then I’d smack her.”
“I’m proud I started Scranton Films… If you’re not getting the jobs out there in the industry, you create the jobs. I saw the potential in this area. Many people were feeling the same way I felt, like we can’t do anything because we live in a small town, or they can’t make it to New York or Philadelphia to get jobs. Well, we create the jobs here so we don’t have to go. Not everyone can afford to go… You stay here, that doesn’t mean you’re not creative. I feel very proud… It’s been well received throughout the community and I have a lot of business who let us shoot there for free. They see that we’re filmmakers trying to make something of our lives because the industry hasn’t given us that opportunity. I’m really proud of all the people who are working towards that, and I want to give as much as I can to them with the experience that I have from freelancing for over 10 years.”
“I have a lot of advice for my younger self. I’ve learned a lot since I was little. I wish I lived a life more focused as a younger person and not so concerned about what people think, what they’re doing, what do they have, what do I not have. It ultimately undermines everything and gets you nowhere. I feel like it’s so important to appreciate who you are, what you are, what you look like, how you were born, what you got. Don’t be concerned about if you’re too heavy, you’re to this, or that, or you’re too dumb. Just any kind of silliness that gets into your head. It’s a complete waste of energy, waste of mind space and it gets you nowhere. I feel like I was a very scared, insecure person and I limited my life based on all of those feelings. I feel like as I got older, I feel like I started to shed that a little bit. I started to not be as self-cautious. Like my body, like who I am, like what I do, like how I sing in the shower, like the art that I make. And not feel like I need to meet someone else’s standards ever. I really, really, really wish I could have had that as a young person because I missed out on a lot. But, it’s never too late.
“Believe in yourself and have the confidence in yourself to believe that you’re enough. And to work hard. It’ll be difficult and you won’t always be successful right away. But to keep striving for yourself and believing in yourself.”
"I think that everyone has a different definition of what success is and that we focus so much on what other people tell us what it is that we never really consider it… For me, it’s just being happy with myself."
“(To women everywhere) we can do anything. There’s nothing we cannot do as long as we stick together and we’re on the same team.”
“As a woman I feel like women don’t get the same respect and sometimes I feel like I have to prove myself more than my male counterparts.”
“Don’t let people put you in a box. You can be whoever you need to be. The less time, if you can manage it, beating up on yourself, the better. Becoming friends with your body is one of the most important things you do as a person, certainly as a woman.”
“(To women everywhere) I’d say the journey is the most important part. You might think you’re supposed to be in one spot, but the way life takes you down a winding path you don’t know where you’re going to end up. It can end up being your happy place, even if it’s not where you expected it to be… and to get your pap smear”
“I think for me, a lot of (adversities) have come from being a bubbly, blonde female. I know that’s definitely not necessarily a minority, but I think a lot of times people can see how I act, and I abbreviate a lot of words, and I can be a little bit lighter and more sarcastic. So, I think that a lot of times people might write me off and think that I’m not serious, or not capable or intelligent enough to do something. I think a lot of times I will have to prove myself to people based on how I come off at first. So, I think that can be a struggle. I also have really high expectations for myself… Anytime I feel like I can be accomplishing more, but there are other factors holding me back like age or gender perception. That can be very frustrating to me… I feel like I can accomplish more if people didn’t know what I look like or had any preconceived notions of who I was based on things like age, gender, and overall appearance.”
“Since I was little I was told that I was really bossy because I wanted to be in charge of everything and make things right. I had so many teachers tell my parents that I was bossy. If I look back on it, I’m more of a leader now. I think when I was younger I had leadership skills. I feel like we need to tell girls, instead of saying ‘oh, you’re bossy’ tell them ‘you can be a leader one day.’ From my perspective, I was president of the chapter for my major and I had those leadership skills and worked so hard. We won national awards, were the top chapter in the country. For my leadership, I won different awards. So, I feel like if we tell girls at a younger age they can be a leader instead of they’re bossy we’d see so much change in the future… if you tell a girl she can be a leader she could be neuroscientist one day or president.”
“(I’d tell my younger self) let go. I spent so much of my childhood doing things that I didn’t understand because of what was happening in my brain, because of my OCD. So, this is easier said than done, but I think I didn’t really start to control my OCD until I stopped trying to understand it. Once I realized this doesn’t make sense and it’s not going to, I thought, ‘why fight it? Work with it.’ So, I think things would have been a lot easier for me if I realized that sooner.”
“Don’t let the bastards get you down. That’s what I live by. Just stick to your guns. Do everything you want and everything you can because there’s nobody who should ever tell you that you can’t.”
"I'd tell my younger self to take as many risks as possible. Go on as many adventures as you can and experience as many things as possible while you have the chance to in life. Gaining as many experiences is when you really find yourself. There's been a couple of times in life where I've turned down chances and looking back I've had regrets. I wonder where I'd be now if I did them. So, when you have the opportunity to take a risk or do something you're unsure of it's better to have an adventure then look back and have a regret."
"One big adversity I've faced is medical issues. At a young age being sick and then growing up to be an adult and realizing that you have a serious medical condition that there's no cure for except for transplants. One challenge for me is having so many medical issues regarding my kidney... One thing I'm proud of myself for is how I handle my adversities and the way that I handle a lot of the things that are thrown my way when it comes to me health. It's not normal for a 21-year-old to need a kidney transplant when they're at the prime of their life. I do have a lot of sad moments, and it's mental and physically exhausting, but at the end I came out a better person and I'm really proud of the person I've become give the struggles that I've faced with my medical condition."
“(Women) don’t need that knight and shining armor to rescue them. Rescue yourself. Depend on yourself first because you have to look to you to make yourself happy, to make yourself independent before you can look to others for anything. Be your own hero.”
“I’ve definitely faced adversity as a woman in technology. Many times, I’m put into situations where things are a boy’s club and even for how far we’ve come, there’s still some people out there who don’t believe that women have merited some of the things that they’ve worked so hard for or that they shouldn’t be in certain situations, but I’m very thankful to see that it has improved over time.”
“You’re beautiful the way you are. Don’t compare yourself to other people because you’re never going to be happy. Whether that’s a size on a dress or that is a skin complexation or that is hair or how much they’ve achieved in school… I like to tell people ‘don’t knock yourself down.’ Because I’ve knocked myself down so much in life and I realized that when I don’t and when I stay positive things are so much easier.”
(Her mother was awarded a Fulbright Schuman Student Research Grant to the European Union. Her family moved to Dublin, Ireland for 11 months.) “I think that will be one of my many challenges in life. It’s going to be hard. I have to say goodbye to my friends, and my family, and my cousins, and a lot of places I’ve grown up in. I’ve never really grown-up outside of this area. So, it’s going to be a challenge learning how to get to the bus stop… I think it’s going to be a lot of challenges. Little challenges inside of one big one.”
“I think because I grew up in a single parent home with just my mom that was always a challenge. Now that I’m older my mom is sick and I think I have a lot of mixed emotions about that. Like, why her? Because she was the parent who chose to be in my life… But I did take that and tried to focus on something positive. We formed a non-profit organization and we fight for a cure for Lupus.”
"Do whatever you want to do. Don't let other people tell you what to do and decide what makes you happy."
"I'm proud of my sense of humor and that I don't let things that I've gone through get me down. Despite everything I've been through that's never been taken away from me."
“(I’m proud) that my mom and I wrote a play and it was performed at the Old Brick Theater. I even got a tattoo of it, it’s called ‘The Bristle.’ I got to be in it too… And it was just a fun experience that I got to do with my mom and the local theater community.”
“(I’d tell my younger self) don’t let anyone bully you, ever. You are destined for far better things than anything they tell you you’re destined for. You’re going to be fine. It seems like the world is constantly crashing down around you, and right now maybe it is, but two days later it could be different and you need to hold on.”
“Getting into Columbia might be one of my proudest moments. It’s hard to break into the system and you have a lot of very negative professors saying, listen, you’re coming from a B college, don’t expect to get into a top college. It was kind of interesting because I never finished my application to (Columbia) because I didn’t want to pay a hundred or so odd dollars for an application fee just to get rejected. Then, I applied to Trinity in Ireland, got in, paid my acceptance fee and then a day before graduation Columbia said I had an interview.”
“One thing is we all need to collaborate and work together, and also I feel like empowerment is a big thing. Giving each other compliments or saying, ‘hey have you read this book?’ or increasing our knowledge is also a big thing. When you see those movements from across the country, in D.C., or even downtown Scranton and how we all unite and come together, I think how we all unite is important for or empowerment, but not just for females, but for different groups (of people). All of us working together and having that realization that something is happening is something I’m proud of that happens. That self-awareness and group-awareness.”
“The man is never worth it. He’s never going to be worth it… I was not allowed to date until I was in college. I think that was the best thing my parents could have ever said to me and they always said that whoever you’re dating doesn’t define you. I think back 20 years ago when I was a young child that was so important to hear because nowadays I have seen so many young women throw away so many opportunities to be near a man… I just wish more young women had that idea that he’s not worth it. Being alone and being single and being happy and comfortable with yourself is the most important thing when you’re a young person.”
"Build each other up! Watching and cheering on the success of other women will help build your success and happiness too!"
“I was raised by a very strong woman. I think I’m a very strong woman. I know that I am. I think (I’d tell women) to stay strong all the time. To be the best person, the best version of yourself that you can be. I also grew up in a family where old-school male thinking was a thing, but that’s not how it was in my house. My mom and dad were not like that. I always thought I had the same opportunities that my four brothers did. Just be strong and never think there’s things you can’t do because you’re a woman. I think we have more opportunities because we are women.”
"I think being the first woman in Presidential Honor Guard to do so many things in the Army. Able to open doors where they were closed before. I was in the second group of women to ever go through there. I think that's what I'm most proud of, because now I see where so many of the other women in that very unit, just there, are able to do so many more things than we were. That's what I'm most proud of. Being able to be a way-maker for others."
“If I were to answer honestly, I'd have to say I'm proud of what I do every single day. I'm able to help women like you, who are urging to take a break from daily life whether you have a very busy job, are a mother, or you put everyone before you. I am able to help women rediscover their true beauty and confidence through the art of boudoir. Woman deserve to love themselves, they deserve to feel confident, they deserve to be empowered, they deserve this.”
“Anything is possible if you work hard enough. I really believe you can achieve anything that you set your mind to. And that if you really, really want something, no matter what adversities you’re facing or difficulties in your life, you can make it happen if you work hard. And I think, they may be hard to find, that there are people out there who will help you and support you even if it seems like you’re facing a struggle on your own.”
“I think we’re in a much different time than we were when I was a child. Woman can do anything they want… My mother was a teacher and she always worked when I was growing up… I never thought it odd that women had careers and jobs when they had children. It was never and odd thing to me. I chose to stay home with my kids when they were little, because that’s something that was important to me. But I think women should make what choice works best for them. And find a job that they’re happy in and they find fulfilling.”
Google Sites
Report abuse